I am a very goal-oriented person.When I was younger, I had so many programs that provided me with the goals I strived for. In Young Womans I had Personal Progress as I worked toward my Young Woman Medallion. I had Girl Scouts too, with so many different badges and goals. And of course there was always school with the always-present goal of graduation, and then, college. As I get older, however, more and more of those structured goal programs have fallen away. Even school is over, for now anyway. It’s like the world has said to me, “Ok, Allison, that’s it! You don’t have to grow or challenge yourself anymore. You’ve made it to complete adulthood.”
But I resist that attitude. Right now in my life, I have my job, which even though I love, isn’t exactly much of a challenge. I have my marriage, which of course does need constant work. I have my church calling and housekeeping. Which are all very good things, but without school it’s hard not to feel that something’s missing. I miss having concrete goals to work towards and the feeling of growth and accomplishment as I reach them. Maybe there is no longer someone to give the goals to me and tell me what I need to work towards, but that doesn’t mean I can’t start making my own goals and resolutions to keep. I don’t think a person is ever done growing!
Recently I started reading a book that gave me just the inspiration and direction I needed to start my own program for growing. The book is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. The author of this book realized that even though she was happy, she wanted to see if she could make herself even happier. So she did a lot of research on happiness and started her very own year-long happiness project. She made resolutions each month and tried to keep all her resolutions from the previous months and at the end of the year she was going to see if by making these small changes in her life, if she could make herself any happier. It’s a really good read, and I found myself relating to so many things the author said. I’m still not finished with the book, but I’m excited to see how it turns out for her!
The thing that struck me the most as I read was Gretchen’s First Splendid Truth: To be happy, I need to think about feeling good, feeling bad, and feeling right, in an atmosphere of growth. That last part is my favorite; ‘an atmosphere of growth.’ I discovered that ‘an atmoshpere’ of growth is exactly what I need to be happy too.
So now I am working on developing the structure for my own year-long happiness project. I decided I would use February for the preparation stage and start the project in March. March is a significant month for me because when I was in Young Womans I did a Personal Progress project in March that I called Project GW (or Project Good Works). As I think about my resolutions, I’m realizing how long a year really is! I want to start all my resolutions right now! But I know if I do I will be completely overwhelmed. So instead I will go month by month, day by day, and see what kind of progress I can make at being a better, happier person.
I highly recommend the book to everyone! You can also check out the website at www.happiness-project.com.
Back when I was a young, naïve little girl I couldn’t wait to be a poor newlywed. I thought it was going to be so fun and so romantic. According to what I heard about in church repetitively and from people older than me, people are always poor when they first get married and it is always the best time of their lives. Which only influences poor young girls like myself to think you have to be poor to be true newlyweds, and being poor is going to be fun and romantic and even glamorous. Or maybe it was just me because, yes, I am a romantic with an overactive imagination. But guess what. My wish came true. And guess what else, it isn’t really glamorous at all.
I’m sure all the things people say are true. We are growing closer because of this time together, and it is wonderful just to have each other. Living on love, as they say. But no one really talks about how hard it is! How stressful and worrying and exhausting. It seems like it’s never going to end too! It’s crazy how we were both better off before we graduated, while we were still in school.
I don’t want this to be a negative, whiny post though. Michael and I are so truly blessed. He got laid off and that was really scary, but Heavenly Father was definitely watching out for us because he got a new job so fast in this time when so many are out of work. Even though I wish we were both working full-time (well, we are kinda, when we can) I know we are so blessed to have the jobs and income that we do have. It really is a marvelous time for us, even though it is so hard.
Even though I’m feeling slightly stressed and discouraged about it now, I guess that doesn’t mean that someday, ten, twenty years from now, I won’t be looking back at these times and telling all the young naïve girls around me that it really was the most romantic times of our lives. And of course they will all believe me. Because it’s probably true.
I’m really starting to feel at home in our ward. It’s fun being married and going to church with other young married people. I like our new ward. At first I thought I would never get to know anyone because it’s so big and so many people are always moving in and out. But progressively things have happened to make me feel more and more at home. I went visiting teaching and had a lot of fun getting to know those girls. I also got a calling as the ward librarian and bulletin specialist. It makes me feel like I have my own little place in the ward. Callings really are a good way to help people feel included. Michael got one too, the same day, and because we both don’t get enough of our jobs during the work week, he’s now the finance clerk!
And so, the next step, of course, for full inclusion into the world, is giving a talk in Sacrament meeting. Which they asked us to do today. We will be speaking next Sunday. I’m kind of excited. Ever since I got over my fear of doing it the first few times, I’ve really liked speaking in church. I remember even volunteering to do it when I was a teenager. And then, the last time I spoke in church, in my single’s ward, the clock was broken so I had no idea how long I was going and I went way over my time! So next week I’ll be sure to keep a watch. Our topic is family budgeting and fun stuff like that. As usual, the topic assigned is always the one I need to work on the most. So, I’m pretty excited about the opportunity to speak, and next week, we’ll se how it goes.
Merry Christmas my love!
- I love my new scarf
A book! I love books!
we can listen to records now!
my husband is so romantic. inside this box - a pearl necklace!
And besides the opening of presents together pictured above, the day included cinnamon rolls, archery practice, losing three arrows in the leaves, Mall Cop (yes, Mall Cop, finally!), It’s a Wonderful Life, trying to go to a movie and kind of failing (sold out theaters!) and having a great sleepover with my two little sisters. The best part was that I got a beautiful hand-mixer from my husband and then we got a red kitchen aid mixer from my parents! It made me happy. So far we have made a cake, Michael’s amazing frosting, and some very delicious rolls with the kitchen aid. It is so much easier and faster than mixing things by hand! I had a wonderful first Christmas with my husband. It was a little weird not being at my parent’s house, sleeping with my sisters and walking down the stairs with them to see what Santa brought, like I’ve been doing my whole life. But I am so happy to be with Michael. Even though the first year feels a little strange as we try to settle into new family traditions of our own, it is anamazing feeling to know that all my future Christmases will be spent with my husband by my side. He put so much thought and care into each one of his gifts for me, I feel very lucky and very, very loved. I’m so excited to spend the rest of my Christmases with you, Michael.
gingerbread men
Well they really aren’t the most attractive gingerbread men I’ve ever seen, but I had a really fun time making them and my house smelled delicious, which was the ultimate goal. I was craving the smell of baking gingerbread so bad this Christmastime. Monday was my first whole since I finished school, so I decided to spend it baking in the kitchen. It was quite a journey getting to the final result but it was so worth it in the end. My friend Cassie helped me deliver them to my neighbors and friends.
It’s been interesting not having school. I don’t know what to do with myself! I’ve been reading so much more, which I love. But having this much free time, I’m really in danger of not getting anything done. It’s going to take much more discipline to do things from now on. But I figure I’m going to give myself four weeks as a Christmas break (and our honeymoon!) and it’s back to business and seriously looking for a second job. Right now I’m just going to enjoy it as much as I can. Sleeping in with my husband, reading books, watching movies, it’s going to be the best.
So, supposedly I’m a writer. At least, two days ago I graduated from BSU with an English degree and Writing emphasis. So I guess that would mean I love to write. Which I do, totally. In light of that fact, why does my husband post on his blog so much more than me? I know it’s not a competition, but if it was I would definitely be losing. I just wanted to point that sad fact out to everyone.
Anyway, this weekend has been quite eventful! On Friday Michael and I graduated together. The really crazy thing is that I remember going to my Mom’s graduation last May, when Michael and I were first dating, and I was thinking of how Michael and I were both graduating in December. I remember thinking to myself, “I really hope we’re still together in December because it would be awesome to graduate together.” And look at us now! It totally happened. Who would have even thought we’d not only still be together, but be married too!!
Family at Graduation
We had a great time at graduation, and I now feel such a sense of accomplishment, though I don’t think it’s really sunk in. I still expect four weeks to go by and Christmas break will be over, and I’ll be back in class again, back where I’ve been for the past four years. Instead, the future is before me and it is very uncertain. It’s a little bit scary but definitely less so knowing I have my husband by my side. I think I could face anything knowing he will be there. So here’s to all our adventures and an uncertain but very exciting future!
The day after graduation we gathered with the McLean family at Suzanne’s house for a delicious Christmas dinner and presents. Then us girls worked on our Christmas stockings! I’ve never made one before. Michael and I thought it would be nice if I made one to match the one his mom made for him when he was little. I’m not a very crafty person. The last time I sewed something was probably when I was twelve. But working on a stocking for myself actually turned out to be really fun, especially because I had two sisters-in-law and a mother-in-law to work on it with! I would but a picture up but it actually still isn’t done.
Then today we had another wonderful family event, Hattie’s baby blessing! She is such a precious baby and I’m so lucky that by marrying Michael I got so many great nieces and nephews. Michael’s family is the best. I always have so much fun when we get together and everyone has made me feel so included. It’s the best feeling ever to hear the little kids say my name and know that they know who I am and care about me. I’d say having two families is one of the great things about being married. I love both of my families!
Me and Charlotte
I have been married to my husband Michael for a whole month as of today! It has been a month of wonderful fun and so much learning and growing. Michael and I have to keep reminding each other that we’ve never been married before, so we are both very new at it! It is great to be able to learn and grow together.
One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that I really do enjoy being a wife, and I feel like I am becoming more and more domesticated! Meaning I find every day that when it comes down to doing my homework or cooking dinner, I choose cooking every time. My homework is really starting to suffer from serious neglect because I’ve been spending all my time doing so much more fun and exciting wifely things. Not that I am a domestic goddess by any means, I still have a long, long way to go, but I am excited to keep growing in this area. Right now I have been trying all kinds of new recipes and I find so much pleasure in having dinner ready for my love when he comes home from work!
Another thing I’ve discovered is that I’m a much more needy person than I ever thought I would be. I’m sure it is part of being newlyweds still in our honeymoon phase, but I almost can’t bear to be apart from Michael! Whenever he is gone and I am home alone, I feel so restless and uneasy and it is almost impossible for me to focus on anything, because I just want to be with him! I used to really enjoy time I had to myself and I had so many things I would do, but now I only count down the minutes until he comes home!
But after one month of marriage, I would have to say that I definitely love it! And I’m the luckiest person in the world that Michael is the one I am married to. I have never met a more loving and sensitive and fun and creative person in all my life. Every day I realize more and more how perfect Michael is for me, and I am so amazed that he wants to be with me too. It’s so amazing and wonderful to me that one month ago we promised to love each other and be with each other for an eternity, and that eternity together is only just beginning.
Look at that Kiss!
One of my favorite things about Michael is the fun and silliness we have together.
I think this picture shows that quite well!
